John Jay Papers

Sarah Livingston Jay to Catharine W. Livingston, 25 July 1781

Sarah Livingston Jay to Catharine W. Livingston

Madrid July 25—[17]81.

The happiness I rec. from my dr. Kitty’s affectionate attention wd. be compleat did I not regret that by the miscarriage of a number of my letters she herself loses the satisfaction of knowing that hers are recd. with the sensibility they deserve. Your disappointment upon the arrival of vessels from Cadiz have as often arisen from our ignorance of their sailing as from the miscarriage of our letters for I doubt not but that Mr. _____1 has frequently recd. intelligence of vessels from Mr. Harrison who has naturally concluded that it wd. be mentioned to us; but he but he was less acquainted with  2 than unfortunately for us we are—for permit me to assure you my dr. sister that in whatever style policy may induce him to mention me to those whom he thinks already my friends in america, neither Mr. Jay nor myself are in the least indebted to him for acts of friendship or even justice in this country: but in a letter from Aranjuez I’ve already explain’d to you my ideas of that gentleman,3 & as his conduct towards Us has not ceas’d to give us more pain than pleasure we’ll quit the subject.

The birth of my little nephew4 & sister’s health are circumstances in wh I participate their joy; & am oblig’d to Mr. Watkin for his three letters all of which I shall answr. by the Major—5 my heart is quite dilated wth the information of the amiable disposition of my dr. little son & I’m confident that mamma & susan will omit no opportunity to cultivate it: I shall desire Major Franks to purchase if possible a set of maps in France like those which Miss Loudon Robinson once had, for Peter, that he may learn geography while he only thinks of amusement.—

I confess that I regret with you the step that my father-in-law’s family have taken in quitting Fishkill,6 but really they have been so persecuted by misfortunes that I’m not surpris’d they shd. be embarrass’d in their measures. poor Mr. Jay’s feelings are so affected by their difficulties that he can’t mention them to me but wth. emotion—

In the 2 years that we have been absent from America Mr. Jay has recd. but two letters from Fady, & not one from Sr. James, tho’ he has written to both, to Fady frequently. You may imagine our anxiety is not a little increas’d by their silence, but patience is a virtue, as Lord North told Coll. Fanning, & I think we are in a way of acquiring it. Three weeks ago I was distress’d by my dr. Mr. Jay’s illness, but my fears have given place to the more delightful sensation of gratitude for his recovery. His situation is not in general the most desirable, for besides the perplexity oftentimes of his business, he receives little pleasure or satisfaction from some near him who ought to behave differently, from what they do: one of them7 is the most insidious & deceitful man I have ever known & is unfortunately too much the others tutor. Indeed, I never shall in future expect any virtue to spring from a soil that has not been soften’d & enrich’d with filial & fraternal affection. I acknowledge that the delicacy & forbearance that Mr. Jay has observ’d towards him, have heighten’d if it was possible my esteem & affection for him, while the unfeeling, sulky rudeness of the others conduct daily wears away my attachment, & sometimes puts me out of all patience. As I’m not sure but what I shall commit this letter to the flames as I’ve done several before now in which I had mention’d this unfortunate circumstance I shall bid you adieu at present & resume my pen after dinner— Let me charge you however not to mention a syllable of this in or out of the family—indeed I shd. not have ventur’d to say what I have at present, but as this letter will be carry’d by Majr. Franks I’ve no reason to be afraid that it will be open’d by any body but yourself—be cautious therefore of this secret, shd. it be expos’d it might do harm & can do no good.—

May you my dr. Kitty never lament the insensibility of those you love, but may all who are favor’d with your friendship feel for you an affection not less ardent than your ever affectionate sister

S. J.—

Major Franks has been so obliging as to answer wth. good nature the longest Catechism I believe he has ever heard, & I tell him he’ll have a second part to go thro’ on his return. Remember me to Mrs. Thompson the Secty’s. Lady, Mama Lawrance & Miss Polly—. Likewise to Mr. Randal’s family.—8

ALS, NNC (EJ: 6442).

1Carmichael. Here and below, spaces left in manuscript.

2Carmichael.

3See the source note to SLJ to William Livingston, 24 June 1781, above.

4John Flint Watkins, born to Judith Livingston and John Watkins, 10 June 1781.

5David S. Franks.

7Carmichael.

8The Randalls were neighbors of the William Livingstons.

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